What do you do when your best friend of five years stops putting effort into your friendship? Do you keep trying to make it work or let them go?
That’s what one of our listeners is currently questioning. Listen…
Hey Bert Show! I was really hoping you could help me out with a problem I’m having. I’m sure it’s not your usual “drama”, but I’ve been listening to you guys for a while now and really value your advice.
I have a friend of around 5 years and throughout we’ve been very close. She has grown to be someone I value very much and especially more recently. However, while she is such an amazing person and someone who I love being around, she doesn’t really put in the effort that I was hoping for to keep in touch. Mainly why I say this is we don’t get many opportunities to see each other due to conflicts with schedules. I am constantly trying to make plans to see her, but she doesn’t reciprocate the effort there. If we make plans she’ll forget about them, or she will just plainly say she’s too busy. I tried talking to her and telling her that is what plans are for, so you aren’t busy, but she just doesn’t listen to me. On top of that, there is little to no communication from her through texting, which she hates!
Again, I’ve explained to her that we can’t see each other in person, we have to communicate over the phone. Communication is key when trying to hold any type of relationship, romantic or not. While I am reassured that she wants to stay close to me, there just isn’t any effort behind it. And to top it all off, we just had our FIRST argument literally ever.
I am in the wrong with what I said, which was basically, “I don’t think our friendship is going to work out at this rate,” and then I continued to explain my concern. She did not like what I had to say, and she has ghosted me ever since. I stopped by her house the next day and was told, “Don’t show up to my house unannounced like that ever again.”
Keep in mind, this is someone who in the past I 100% could’ve dropped in on out of nowhere. It has only been about 5 days, but I cannot get her to talk to me and have a civil conversation like NORMAL people. Instead, she has just resorted to silence. So, what do I do here guys? Do I try to get in touch again? If she responds, do I even continue trying to be friends?
At this point, it doesn’t even seem like she cares and maybe I cared too much and was blinded by that. I have friends, but we all have those one or two close friends that we are tight with. She’s the only one I have. I appreciate any advice you could possibly give me, especially if I am in the wrong, or if I am overthinking it. Thanks!