At first, she enjoyed spending time with the man she recently started dating. But after their third date, she noticed things about him that bother her. For starters, she doesn’t like it when he brags.
But her main issue with him is when he dominates their conversation. She doesn’t think he’s truly interested in getting to know her.
So what does she do?
I’ve been single for a few years and just recently started to go on dates again. So a few mediocre dates in, I meet a guy who seems to have the same values, faith, etc. and we end up having 3 separate dates. He’s a great guy and no major red flags, but a couple issues that have caused me to decline his recent invitations to go out again.
I don’t want to lead him on with my conflicted feelings so I texted him that I appreciated his last offer, but I’m just needing to not date right now. Which is true- I’m not connecting with anyone else or planning to, and my schedule is pretty full. He responded with “If it was something I did you can tell me”, and that he’s open to constructive criticism. I’m not sure what to do… He asked, but is it appropriate to tell him frankly? Do guys generally mean it if they ask for that? I have had the experience of a guy asking me a similar question and when I shared some of my thoughts, he had an argument for each, and I felt like I was in a sales pitch. It ended on an uncomfortable note. That conversation was in person though.
The issues I have:
Minor, but he seemed… braggy or something. He told me all kinds of things about his travels and times he’s helped his family financially, of his work with politicians, a celebrity he’s met, etc. And I get that people put their best foot forward in these cases, but that paired with snap stories with filtered selfies and just his frequent use of Snapchat in general (I’m not a huge fan of it) gives me the impression that he’s a little insecure or needing attention. Not a deal breaker really, those are just things I added up and maybe not an issue.
The MAIN issue though, is that he dominated the conversation every time. He’s interesting to listen to, but I can probably count the number of questions he asked me about myself on one hand. When I did share, at times it looked like his eyes glazed over, and he wasn’t listening. I just didn’t get the impression that he actually wants to know me… ya know? Like he wants someone to love him and care for him, but doesn’t know how to reciprocate. It did seem completely unintentional. He mentioned he has ADHD. But so do I, so I feel like that isn’t an excuse for all of that… Maybe he just hasn’t learned how to manage it. I’m not sure, but I don’t want to mother again. I already have a child of my own.
I do think he seems like a kind, funny, faithful person, so it sort of pains me to give the feedback because then I think it’s totally over. Like I can’t try dating him again if I know he’s trying to please me by pretending to care about who I am, what I’m into, etc.
Right?
I don’t know, what do you guys think??