Our listener is in a bit of a dilemma, and it has everything to do with a couple she’s dating. Lately, she has found herself being WAY more into the woman than the man.
It’s becoming a problem, and she’s not sure how to handle it. Any advice?
Hello Bert Show Crew! Love you all so much!
I have a dilemma. I’ve been interacting with a couple I met online. I am a single bisexual woman and met this great couple I have a ton of fun with when we go out, have drinks, play board or card games, and watch movies.
Where the problem starts is when we play piano. It’s been good overall, but not so much lately. I’ve found I’m WAY more into her than I am into him. He seems to have picked up on that, and it’s a big cause of where we are at now. He is insecure, he’s a bigger guy and has a lot of body insecurity, and he also can be a bit manipulative. Since he has picked up on my preference, he seems to have gone out of his way to complicate things with boundaries and expectations that are all about him. She is amazing. I really enjoy the heck out of all aspects of the friendship and playing piano with her. His insecurities complicate things and remove the fun out of it in any setting though. Lately, it just gets really awkward.
I’d be fine with keeping things just friends with both of them because we connect in a lot of ways, and I’m thinking that it would be best to just avoid the complications. It doesn’t seem he is likely to let this go though. Knowing that if we hadn’t played piano, I’d value them as friends. I feel it would be best to shift things even though I sense it may be weird or unsuccessful. He seems more and more focused on the piano portion of things ever since he seemed to have picked up on my preference.
I hate that I’ve encountered this and that it wasn’t bad in any way til his insecurities reared their head. I’m a busy single mom, the limited time I get with good friends and fun piano playing are each valuable.
Would you confront him or them? I’m thinking my options are to cut them both off or coax him into figuring out that his anxious self sabotaging ways are what led me to prefer her in the first place.
Anonymous