At first, her boyfriend was very supportive when he found out they were expecting their first child together. But things quickly changed when she mentioned getting an epidural.
He’s against it and refuses to help her pay the bill if she goes through with it. What should she do?
Here’s her email to us:
I’m having a huge fight with my boyfriend and father of my baby. We’ve been dating for about a year.
I found out I was pregnant, and at first he seemed really supportive. I mean, I wasn’t exactly expecting him to propose marriage, but he has been and is planning to help pay for all the baby expenses. We also just moved into a bigger apartment so that we have room for a baby. However, there is one thing we are fighting about that I’m pretty pissed about. My health insurance isn’t the greatest and doesn’t seem to cover a lot. I think it’s because my deductible is pretty high.
From what I understand, it’s too late to change insurance so I’m stuck with what I have. My boyfriend seems pretty annoyed when the doctor bills have come in since he agreed to split all expenses. I told him that it’s only going to get worse and that I was stressed about the cost of delivery. He said I have to do whatever I can to keep the cost down and not to agree to anything “extra.”
Apparently, he expects me to have a natural childbirth because then I wouldn’t be charged for things like an epidural. I told him that I was definitely not doing it naturally and that I wanted an epidural. He said that he won’t split that cost with me and if something isn’t necessary then I would be responsible for the full cost. I tried to tell him that wasn’t fair and that an epidural is necessary. He says that it isn’t. He says women gave birth for all of history without it and lots of women still do it today. He basically says it’s a luxury to experience pain free childbirth and that we can’t afford anything unnecessary.
So, I need to know from women…Just how bad is it? Can I do this without that added expense? Or else, how do I get him to help me pay for it?