His wife needed a break, so she asked to spend the weekend with a single male friend of hers. She swears nothing happened, but he feels disrespected. Is he blowing things out of proportion?
Here’s what he sent us:
I take off every weekend to spend it with my wife of 8 years and our three year old daughter. We have a very healthy and happy marriage. She’s been stressed at work, and said she needed to just hang out and forget reality for a night or so with friends. We agreed. Well, she called me from work and asked if I had any plans for us for the weekend. I was excited she wanted us to do something and I said, “no, what’s on your mind?” She replied, “Since we have no previous plans, would you be cool with me going to Nebraska to spend the weekend with a friend?”
I asked if it was a guy and she said yes. She didn’t mention that part because it was just a friend and didn’t think it would matter. Clearly it mattered, and clearly she knew it, or she would have mentioned it. I was so shocked and so floored. What would you have said?
Anyway, being so hurt by what I was clearly hearing, “Are you ok with me going out of state and spending the weekend with another man?”… I just said, “Sure, go ahead. And she did.” I was completely fine with her going. It was her asking me such a thing in the first place that was the punch in the gut, and I haven’t been able to get up from it.
Well, when she got back, I asked her for a divorce. She was stunned. I told her that I felt if she was willing to throw away an 8 year marriage for a three day weekend with some single guy from college (13 years ago), then I was out.
She assured me that nothing happened, that his place was filthy. She said she was disgusted the entire time she was there, and that he was well over 350 lbs, and that there was no way she ever intended on doing anything with him even if he had looked like Don Juan! She told me she would never have risked our marriage for anything, and that she just needed to breathe and get away from life for just a second and knew that would be a safe place.
Anyway, the disrespect of asking your spouse if you can spend a weekend with a single member of the opposite sex in another state has thrown me for a loop. Again it’s not her going that bothers me at all. It’s her asking me that has shaken me. Please advise. I am aware that my opinion does not create reality. That’s simply how I see things. Others may see things differently, and their reality is equally valid. Am I blowing this out of proportion?
Bags packed! Calling realtors.
The Update
He confronted his wife, but the conversation didn’t end well. Listen to the update!