Recently our listener’s husband hasn’t been performing well in the bedroom. At first, he blamed it on stress but eventually, he told her the gut-wrenching truth. He’s no longer physically attracted to her.
This was heartbreaking to hear, and now she’s not sure what to do. Any advice?
Here’s what she wrote us:
Hey Bert Show!
I’m a long time listener, first time emailer. I come to you in need of some advice. My husband and I have been together for 7 years, married for 4, and we are part of the TTC (Trying To Conceive) community. We’ve been trying to conceive for almost two years and have just begun our journey at our local fertility clinic.
Recently, during piano playing, my husband hasn’t been able to complete a full song. At first, he said it was because of the stress he was under as a man trying to complete the task, but as time went on, the performance issue kept happening. So I straight up asked him last night if he was still attracted to me. And I didn’t get the answer I was hoping for.
He said, and I quote, “Well to be honest, I found you more attractive a few years ago when you were in better shape.” He told me that he still loves me, and he doesn’t want anyone else, but that physically I don’t do it for him anymore. He tried to make me feel better by saying “I’m sure you feel the same about me, I know I’ve put on some weight since the pandemic.” And I just said “actually no, I don’t. I think you’re as handsome as ever. But I’m glad to know where we stand.” And told him I wanted to be left alone for the evening.
This hurts me deeply because not only does my husband not find me physically attractive anymore, I don’t want him to try and play the piano with me now to try and conceive because I feel like it’ll be forced. I’ll be too into my own head worrying about what he’s thinking about, and I don’t want him to have another performance issue. I’m not really sure what to do at this point, I don’t want to take extreme measures and do a rapid weight loss journey overnight, but I know I need to make more changes than just eating right and working out.
Any advice would be appreciated.
Thank you!