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Her husband was unhappy so he quit his job. Instead of helping out around the house he hasn’t been doing anything. He says he is helpful though.
To prove him wrong she wants to install hidden cameras in their house. Should she?
You can check it all out from the beginning below, but first, we check back in our listener. How has their relationship been since this incident?
LISTEN FROM THE BEGINNING
Here’s her email:
My husband quit his job last May. He was really unhappy and after a heated confrontation with his boss we made the mutual decision for him to quit. The timing worked out great because he would be able to watch our kids that summer while also searching for a job. I also assumed that since he’d be home all day, things would be a little easier on me around the house. However, I’d come home and the kitchen would still be a disaster from the breakfast dishes and lunch packing that I had done in the morning. I’d still have all the loads of laundry to do on the weekends. Nothing was cleaned up. It’s like he didn’t lift a finger around the house at all. I was working a full time job and still had to do everything around the house myself. We’d argue and he’d tell me that I just wasn’t noticing what he was doing or that it wasn’t easy looking for a job and taking care of the kids at the same time.
Then, I’d ask him about the job search and if he had applied for anything. He’d tell me nearly every day that he’s spending “hours” looking but can’t find anything. Or that he needed to work on his resume. Months went by and as far as I could see he had done nothing to find a job and he wasn’t doing anything around the house. After too many fights, I decided that I’d let it go until summer ended. I assumed there would be no excuse once the kids were back in school.
Well, now it has been 5 months since the kids have gone back to school…8 months since he last had a job. Yet nothing has changed. He hardly does anything around the house, he isn’t having to take care of the kids since they are in school and if I mention the job search he gets angry and says I just need to trust him or that it’s his career and I need to let him figure it out. He will point out the few things he does do…like grocery shopping, running an errand, or small tasks around the house and often use those things as an explanation for what took up all his time.
However, these are all things I could get done in 20 minutes. I seriously get more done in one evening after work then he gets done in an entire week. Honestly, I’m tired of fighting and I’m tired of being annoyed. I have zero idea what he does with his time all day but I think it’s completely unfair for a 35 year old man to have zero responsibility while I do it all. Not to mention that our financial situation is causing so much anxiety. I need something to change but talking to him about his inaction just causes denial and a fight.
My sister thinks I should put up hidden camera to see what he actually does so I can have proof that he really is just doing nothing. I know he’d be furious if I spied on him but the alternative is that I’m furious at him and we go broke. Should I do it?
Update PT 1
*Spoiler Alert* She didn’t take our advice.
UPDATE PT 2
She went through with it and saw her husband doing some SUPER sketchy stuff that he didn’t tell her about! RED FLAG RED FLAG RED FLAG!
UPDATE PT 3
When we last left her, she found out that her husband was showering and leaving the house ALL day, and that’s why stuff wasn’t getting done. But, when she asked him what he was doing…he NEVER mentioned it. So, she was gonna track her husband’s phone to see where he was going…except he turned off location services! And when she checked his texts, it was EMPTY. She found out later that he was leaving, going to a Starbucks near his old work, and then going to a residential area for the rest of the day.
Kristin thinks she should take a sick day and follow him. Bert doesn’t think it’s that easy.
UPDATE PT 4
She followed her husband…and tracked him (after he picked up TWO coffees from Starbucks) to that house in the suburbs. The garage was open, so she did what any person who stalks their spouse would do…she walked in through the garage, opened the door to the kitchen, walked through to the dining room and what she saw made her RUN from the house.