There are seriously SO many red flags in this letter we got from a listener that we almost don’t know where to start. Not only is she married but is falling for an employee who’s under her, she wants to transfer him – without his consent – into another department where he has less of a clear path to more money and more success.
Should she do it to “save” her marriage? We’re not all seeing eye-to-eye on this one…
I need help ‘cause I have to act today.
I am the manager of the accounting department in a rather large company. I oversee close to 20 employees and I’ve been here for 12 years. I have fallen in love with one of my employees. I didn’t mean for it to happen. I never saw it coming. He has NO idea. I am married and have been for 7 years. I love my husband, but my connection with my employee is undeniable. This is not physical. This is real. And it’s real distracting. I can’t focus at work, and I know my thoughts of him are putting space between me and my husband. My husband asks me why I’m so distant, and I make all the cliché excuses.
There is an opening in another office, and I have the authority to transfer him. He definitely has a more clear path to a better position and more money in my department. But I can’t have this distraction in front of me every day.
I’m struggling. Should I force the transfer? I know it’s not ethical. But I am positive if the situation remains the same, my life will change forever.