Her husband tragically passed away six years ago after seven years together. In a sudden twist of fate she was able to connect with his long-lost SON and things have started to heat up! Is she crazy for considering dating her deceased husband’s son?
THE UPDATE
She writes…
Bert, Moe, Davi and Kristin,
I have reread this email a thousand times and keep asking myself, do I really want to send this? But I could really use your help and would value everybody’s input. I’m a long time listener and appreciate you all starting the podcast since I no longer have a commute to work. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE keep this anonymous. I’m already embarrassed enough just sending this.
I’ll do my best to be concise and get to the point. My husband passed away 6 years ago. It was devastating and it was unexpected. It was the second marriage for both of us and we were together for 7 wonderful years. About 6 months ago a woman reached out to me on Facebook. She was looking for her son’s father. She specifically named my departed husband and had details about where he lived prior to being with me. To say I was shocked is an understatement. We conversed a little more and sure enough, my dead husband had a child out of wedlock during his first marriage. The woman who I was talking to on Facebook had been his mistress. I think an important fact is that he didn’t abandon this child, she never told him she was pregnant. Because she was the mistress, she felt that was the right move at the time. I had to be the one to break the news to her that he had passed away years ago.
Through one of those ancestry DNA tests, her son found out his “dad” wasn’t his biological dad. He was understandably struggling with this news and was desperate to meet his bio dad. Since that’s no longer possible, he at minimum wanted to learn about him. She asked me if I would be willing to talk to her son and answer his questions about his father (since going to the first wife who he cheated on didn’t seem like a good idea). I weighed whether or not this was a good idea for me and at the end of the day I felt my husband would want me to at least have one conversation with him.
Well…one conversation has turned into several. Actually, more than several. What started on Facebook as a few DMs has now turned into nightly phone conversations and FaceTimes. He’s 31, accomplished, intelligent, handsome (yes, like his father) and quite charming. For the record, I’m 42. Ironically, he’s 11 years younger than me and I was 11 years younger than his father. It’s obvious there is chemistry and a connection there, on both our parts.
Am I crazy for even considering dating my deceased husband’s son? Please be honest, but try not to be brutally honest.
Signed,
Conflicted