His best friend is more like a brother to him, but something about their friendship is off. His friend always mentions they should hang out but never makes plans to. He’s worried it may have something to do with his sexuality. So how does he approach him about this?
Dear Bert Show,
First off, I have to say I am a huge fan and listen to you all every morning. I have been listening for years, but this is my first time actually contacting you all. I have a dilemma regarding a friend and was hoping that you all could help give me some insight and perspective on this situation.
I am a gay black male who happens to be really good friends with a black straight male. We have known each other less than a year, but quickly became friends even to the point where we call each other brother. We have similar interests and oftentimes talk for extended periods of time on the phone. I really enjoy having this person in my life as my friend/brother, however, whenever I ask about hanging out, the conversation always ends with, “Yea, we gotta hang out sometime.” It seems genuine, but we just never seem to actually hang out.
This type of friendship/brotherhood between gay and straight African American males is not something that happens often, at least not that I have seen, so I really value this friendship. Do you think I need to ask him why he doesn’t want to hangout? Or should I just enjoy the friendship as it is. He knows that hanging out for me is like catching a movie: since we are both sci-fi fantasy junkies, grabbing some drinks downtown, I would even go to a straight strip club with him..he’s like my brother. He also knows that my relationship with my biological brother is strained, so he has really stepped in and somewhat filled that role.
How do you guys think I should handle this?