Lately, our listener’s five-year-old son has been asking her to wear makeup and try on dresses. She allows him to, but her soon-to-be ex-husband hates this. He’s against his son thinking he is a girl.
Our listener supports her son 100%, but she’s starting to question her parenting skills. How should she handle this situation?
Here’s her email:
Hey Bert show! I have been listening to the Bert show for a couple of months now. My girlfriend is the one who got me hooked on the show! She has been a listener for quite some time now and she is a big fan! I’m emailing you to get some advice on my current situation!
I am currently going through a divorce. I was married to my husband for 11 years. I met him when I was 15 and pregnant! We have 4 kids together and 1 that was from a previous relationship. Our marriage had a lot of ups and downs and a lot of bad times.
Rewinding to before I met him, when I was in middle school I met a girl and I knew that she was the one, she was the love of my life, I wanted her and no one else. A couple of months after dating her, I came out to my mom, and that didn’t go too well!
My mom told me that I wasn’t allowed to see her anymore and that caused us to break up! My mom didn’t accept me for who I was, so me and my girlfriend drifted apart. Since my mom didn’t accept it, I kinda started to hide who I was from her and any one else that didn’t accept it. I lost the woman I wanted to be with.
After I got married to my current husband, me and Star (the girlfriend) started talking again as friends (which I know is wrong when you’re married). Our love for each other grew stronger and stronger. I knew that I would never be happy hiding myself from everyone. Hence the divorce.
I’m writing to get advice on my 5 year old son. His name is Cristian!
Lately he has been telling me he wants to do his makeup and wear girl clothes and shoes, so I let him.
I tell him he is a boy, and he continues to tell me he is not, he is a girl. Being the mother I am, and experiencing everything I have in the past for coming out, I support my son. I buy the things he asks for as far as his girly stuff. His father doesn’t accept it at all and makes him change any girl stuff he has on and his fingernail polish! My mom also is telling me that I’m wrong for not telling Cristian that this is wrong, and he is a boy! She also says I’m setting him up to be bullied!
Hearing these words from my mom and his dad makes him very mad and upset.
What do I do? How do I approach this?
Thanks!