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Our listener is dating a guy that lives with his mother. He claims she lives with him and not the other way around. Is this a deal breaker?
Here’s her email:
Would this be a deal breaker for you? The other night, I had my 3rd date with a guy. Things have been going really well. We had been texting constantly throughout the day and both have been eager to see each other again. On the first date, he mentioned going back to his place but that his roommate would be there. At first, I thought it was weird to be concerned about his roommate…I mean, I assume his roommate would or could be in another room. I didn’t think too much about it because it was only our first date and wasn’t planning on going back to his place anyhow.
A few days later, we went out again, at the end of the night he suggested we go back to my place which I thought was strange since he had mentioned only living a few minutes from where we were and I lived a good 20 minutes away. But l assumed, he must really have a crappy roommate or maybe his place was a mess. So, we went back to my place. The 3rd time we went out, I specifically asked if we could just have a low key night and go back to his place and just watch a movie or something. He hesitated and said, “maybe…hang on” and then starting texting someone. I have no idea who he was texting but then he said…”ok, we can go back to my place but let’s go get a few drinks first”. So, that’s what we did. About 9pm, we go back to his apartment. Before we walk in, He told me we needed to be really quiet because his “roommate was sleeping”. “Ok” I thought, “9pm is a bit early for a roommate to be sleeping but maybe he has some weird work schedule”.
Then, we walked in. My first reaction was that the entire apartment was immaculate… not a single thing out of place. Seemed almost odd for 2 guys living in an apartment. He quickly ushered me to his room while gesturing for me to be quiet. In the 20 steps to his bedroom, I started noticing weird things… Southern living magazines, Yankee candles, reading glasses, and a lot of faux fall decor… it was weird. Finally, I said… “who lives here?” He said… “just me and my roommate.” “Is your roommate a 60 year old woman?” I said. He froze and was quiet for a few seconds. Then, he said…”62, actually. It’s my mom.” He quickly tried to explain that HE didn’t live with his mom but that his MOM moved in with him. He lived in the apartment and needed a roommate. It just so happened that his mom needed an affordable place to live also. “So, it just worked out”. On one hand, it’s sweet that he is close enough to his mom that he’d let her move in with him. On the other hand..With his mom 20 feet away, we literally ONLY watched the movie. At about 11:30, he asked if I’d mind heading home. He didn’t want his mom’s first impression of me to be the morning after I spent the night.
Would this all be a deal breaker for you? I mean, we could always spend most of our time at my place but it does seem odd that he lives with his mom (or she lives with him). Did I mention he is 32? I’m supposed to go out with him tonight. Do I go? Do I break things off?
She had dinner with him at his house. He cooked for her and she noticed something. His mother does more for him than she thought…