Halloween is next week, which means most of the alcohol and/or sugar induced debauchery is going down this weekend, so we’re prepping you in advance for what you’re about to come into contact with this weekend. From the most popular costumes and quizzes of what weird “sexy” costume you should be (although, if you’re feeling the pressure or being objectified, we’ve got your back) to the rules of Halloween hook-ups (just remember Costume Goggles > Beer Goggles), getting your drinks paid for and warnings of ouija boards, we’ve got one last list briefing for you. (Just so you’re fully prepared.)
Introducing the six people you’ll meet at EVERY Halloween Party…and how to handle them.
The whole “sexy Halloween” thing is totally out of control now. So if you’re hitting up a costume party this weekend, you’re almost guaranteed to see at least one person dressed as a sexy witch, a sexy something…really, a sexy ANYTHING. But, that’s definitely not the ONLY type of person you’ll meet.
#1.) The Person Who Claims They’re Wearing a Costume, Even Though They’re Not. They’ll be in normal clothes, but when you ask why they didn’t dress up, they’ll say they DID. Then they’ll claim they’re dressed as something that doesn’t REQUIRE a costume . . . like a serial killer or a teacher. Just smile, nod, and go refill your drink, ASAP (because who knows, when they say “serial killer,” they might not be lying.)
#2.) The Person with a Costume That Severely Restricts Them from Moving Around. It might be something like a mermaid tail, so they can’t walk right. Or it might be a costume that’s so huge and ridiculous, they can’t fit through a doorway. Avoid. Like you want to be crushed under a giant styrofoam banana all night? No thanks. The good news is, they’ll probably be easy to stay away from, since they’ll be sitting or standing in the same spot all night. If you see them headed for the saves, it’s up to you to warn EVERYONE. Save lives, people.
#3.) The Person Who Obviously Hates Halloween. If they’re dressed up at all, it’ll either be a cheap costume, or the same costume they wore last year. And they’ll probably be sitting in a corner looking miserable. Bring them a drink to wallow in. Unless they’re the DD, obviously.
#4.) The Guy Dressed in Drag. For whatever reason, some guys LOVE dressing as women on Halloween, and they always act like it’s the funniest costume anyone’s ever seen.
#5.) The Person Who Handmade Every Single Thing They’re Wearing. They’ll also be way too proud, and at least once, you’ll overhear them bragging about how much time they put into (wasted?) on it. If you’re the person from #1 or #3, avoid them, because they’ll just make you feel worse. Otherwise, get crafty.
#6.) The Person Who Approaches Halloween Like a Method Actor. If they’re dressed as, say, Marilyn Monroe, then they’ll ACT like Marilyn Monroe ALL NIGHT, to the point where you won’t even want to talk to them, because it’s too annoying. How to deal? Adopt a different character accent with every sentence you say to them. They’ll get the picture.
Source: The Frisky