Our Producer Davi is about to turn the BIG 3-0, and Kristin gave her a list of 30 things that she has to accomplish by the time she’s 30.
And today, she tackles one of the big ones: writing a letter to her future self.
If you had to write one, what would it say? Take the challenge: sit down today, write a letter to your future self, seal the envelope, then read it in five years. Or 10. Or 30. The point is to write it…you might be surprised at what you discover about yourself. If you need ideas on where to start, read Davi’s below, or read Cassie’s, here.
— The Bert Show (@TheBertShow) April 18, 2016
Hey there, Davina (age 60). I’m calling you Davina because it sounds fancier than a nickname. And I’m sure by now you’re a classy lady that is widely respected by all, especially since you’ve taken over hosting The Hunger Games ceremonies.
I’m writing this to remind you that it gets better. It always does.
Remember when you were a teenager you said your life would end at 30…? You have to grow up, work, get married, have babies, abandon your nomadic ways and buy a house, & eat pasta salad at yard parties with mosquitoes and family for the rest of your life. It’s all that on a loop forever.
I never saw that for myself. It has always been impossible to imagine a future for myself that pleasant and normal – when I come from anything but normal. And I figured by now I’d have met my maker in some blaze of glory or at least die by some unique Oregon Trial ailment like Scurvy or Dysentery. But nope! Still here.
And even now as I attempt to write a letter to myself at age 60 – I’m having trouble seeing that future. One thing is for certain: You’re a tattooed old lady. And that is cool as hell. I hope you wear so much jewelry all the time… like Mr. T amounts of jewelry. I hope you still laugh a lot – especially at inappropriate things. Be like Instagram Grandma, Baddie Winkle. I hope you have 0 cats and 60 dogs. I hope flossing worked and you still have a tooth or two. I hope you got that laser hair removal you so deserve. Or did you just embrace that pesky whisker on your chin and name it Owen? Does Owen have friends now? Does getting older mean getting hairier? Seriously, is my body preparing for an Ice Age that no one is telling me about?!!? It’s like Eugene Levy up in here.
Ultimately, in all these years I hope no one has silenced you or your passions. Even though you’ve seen some of the worst parts of humanity – I hope you still can’t help but love every human. I hope you’re still happy and confident.
60 is cool… but it’s not 70. You’re almost there! I imagine there are COOL THINGS ABOUT BEING 60. For example;
– You probably don’t have to go to as many baby showers!
– coffee and car washes will be cheaper.
– You’re probably not shivering like a little baby bird all the time anymore thanks to Hot Flashes. And no more Aunt Flo? Menopause sounds awesome!
– You’re almost to the age you can cut in line & shoplift with complete disregard for everyone around you. And no one will say anything.
– You’re almost to the age you can put old figurines from your house in a gift bag and give it to your friends on their birthday.
– People will say you look “amazing for being 60 years old!” What they really mean is “You look amazing.” Just keep smiling & saying thank you. Because you’re almost at the age where you can give them the middle finger and blame it on senility. Not there just yet though, so lock up that hot mess a little longer!
You’ve had to learn a lot the hard way. Let me remind of a few things you learned in your 20s :
– Change your oil. Drive safely. Avoid curbs & texting. Nothing good comes of a stranded, hungover girl on the side of the highway. “Check Engine” light is there for a reason. If you ignore it then you have to spend WAY TOO MUCH time talking about things like leaky gaskets, bent pistons, bulges in tires, and fluids with Greasy Howie at the shop. You don’t want to talk about bulges and fluids with Howie. Love your car or you’ll be poor.
– Love your body not for what it looks like but what it can accomplish. Take care of it – you only get one. For the love of all things holy: STRETCH EVERYDAY.
– Boys are stupid. You should avoid them and find yourself a “man”. ie: Someone that respects you entirely and makes you proud everyday.
– Friendships are strange and difficult in your 20s. But you really figured them out in those years. Don’t keep everyone at a distance just because there are a few, for lack of a better word, TURDS out there.
– Bullies don’t disappear… they just get bigger and more crafty. And the reason they bully never changes. There is always some drama going on in their personal life and they’re taking it out on you. Be patient and understanding and you just may end up with a new friend.
– Life doesn’t end after marriage or buying a house. It’s just a new chapter of life. This new chapter is just as sexy & riveting. It just has more visits to Home Depot.
– Sometimes you climb to the top of the mountain and the view isn’t all that great. That doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with you and you’re impossible to please. It just means you climbed the wrong mountain.
– Gratitude is a powerful drug. Try it once and you’re hooked. Last year I was given the opportunity to say Thank You to a woman I feel changed my life in the most positive way 20 years ago. Her name is Kelly. She was my brother’s girlfriend when I was 10. I was being teased by family & she stood up for me. She told me I was beautiful. She said it will get better. She helped me. Then I never saw her again. 20 years later I wrote her a letter to let her know just how much that act of kindness meant to me in a time where I had no safe space. Every new doorway, whether at school or at home, was another chance to be a target for critiques. Kelly wrote me back. She let me know that my moment down memory lane had, in turn, helped her 10 year old daughter deal with the mean girls at school. MY words through the radio about enduring bullies helped her daughter in a way Kelly’s motherly advice never could. Her daughter started a club at school for girls to empower other girls. And that’s amazing.
– And probably the most important knowledge I gained in my 20s… is a breakfast burrito is never a good idea.
But you persevered! You survived!
Now let’s get real for a minute. Before you blew out the candles on your 30th bday cake, you hesitated. You had no wish because all your wishes had come true. Every hope and dream you had has been accomplished.
– You wanted to get back into acting/stagecraft. So you did. Several plays, short films, music videos, & one feature film later… and you’re still working in the scene.
– You saw only males hosting battle of the bands & burlesque shows. You said “I’m going to do that.” And you did it. And you rocked it.
– Then you wrote, directed, and hosted your own shows.
– Then you took some dance classes and ran a few 5Ks to get back in shape.
– Then you started working in production for a huge radio station; editing, doing voice overs, and making people laugh in the morning.
– Then you started doing stand up.
– Then you embraced depression and learned how to deal via a total lifestyle change.
– Then you told some more jokes.
– Then you met and married the man of your dreams. Literally, he is the man of your dreams because you dreamed of his face before you ever met. First you shared the stage together and now you share your life together. And it’s spectacular.
Notice how you strayed from playing characters on stage to just being yourself? Why play someone else? I am my favorite character. You said “Yes” to every new opportunity, no matter how scary and far from your comfort zone. You did it all and now you’re skilled as a mutha!
You are you. Fearless. Funny. Fabulous. You are a human in progress. Be proud of you.
Be grateful every single day to who you are and where you come from. And those delightful faces that want to sing to you over birthday candles every year -> Love them with reckless abandon because they are worth every single bit of space in your fabulous world.
Make more dreams – set more goals. Keep it Up! And remember, it always gets better.
Davi (age 29)