What does your footwear say about you?
High Heels – You are single and just slightly desperate for attention. It’s an outdoor festival, not a fashion show. You look out of touch and needy.
Wedges – You are cute, sensible and most likely, single. You want your rear end to get a lift and look stylish and cute, but you don’t want to be miserable in heels either. You definitely want guys to notice you, so you couldn’t go with a truly comfortable shoe choice.
Really Tall Wedges – If you are wobbling on your wedges, then you are wobbling between the high heel category and wedges category.
Flat Sandals – Sensible choice for an outdoor festival. You are either single and self-confident… or you are married, or in a committed relationship and comfortable with your own cuteness. You will sacrifice your arches to look stylish, but you are not going to walk around on throbbing feet to get attention.
Tevas or Women’s version of mandels: You are a Mom who might be a little out of touch since birthing your babies and you just grabbed them at the last minute after packing up your double wide stroller for the day, not realizing how bad those things look. Or you are a lesbian who appreciates a sensible comfortable shoe- why straight women wear heels, you’ll never understand. High heel girl is a laughing stock in your mind.
Flip Flops – You plan to get really drunk today and you don’t want to sacrifice a nice pair of sandals, wedges or heels to the tequila Gods. Your jean shorts are most likely ripped, which matches your speech patterns. Cheers, drunko! Please don’t spill that warm beer on me.
And on a random tangent…what is up with festival folk art? Can someone explain it to us, please?