First date violations are like hockey violations: there are minor ones…and major ones. (Don’t you love the analogy?) A minor violation might be bad table manners, and talking on the phone or texting at dinner or being late might be major ones.
But what if you have multiple major violations? Producer Marisa had five MAJOR violations happen to her on a first date…with a friend!
1. He was late.
2. In the first five minutes of the car ride to the restaurant, he talked about the size of his penis.
3. He made plans on the phone during the date for after the date.
4. He opened the “ex-files.” He brought up Marisa’s literally just finished relationship…and asked why it ended.
5. Even after he was ‘rejected’ from the post-date apartment visit, he asked…again.
Since he made all those violations on the first date, isn’t it only fair that Marisa gets some revenge? The cast and Bert Show listeners come up with a list of the worst things a woman could do on a date…and Marisa’s going to pull out all the stops on date number two.
1. Talk about your menstrual cycle.
2. Pick up another guy. And leave with another one.
3. Talk baby talk.
4. Show him a picture of what your future child might look like. (You know, the kind where you morph your pictures together).
5. Say you feel so much better now that you’ve stopped shaving.
6. Start crying…so hard, it’s almost creating a scene.
7. Introduce him to her mom.
8. ‘Attack’ his masculinity.
9. Fart.
10. Dad has a talk with him before you go out.
11. Flirt with the server.
So, Marisa was all set to go on the date, even though her mother was worried about her safety. And then these texts came in…
