If you could design your perfect world, what would it look like? If you could make all the rules you wanted and have EVERYONE follow them, what would you pass into law?
Bert lead the way with his rules for Bertopia, like t-boning the bouche who blocks the intersection, Kristin’s got her rules for Kristinville (every house has to have a pet), Moe has Moekanda, where the day after the Super Bowl is a holiday, and Davi has Isle of Davi, where EVERYONE GETS A CASTLE.
And now, welcome to CASSHOLEVANIA, where chocolate is a health food, every house has a hangover IV drip, and pants are optional.
THE LAWS OF THE LAND OF CASSHOLEVANIA
- Children are allowed to cry for five minutes without the parents being judged. After that, parents must remove baby from situation. I don’t care how, get them out.
2. If you’ve been standing in line to order something and you don’t know what you get by the time you get up there, the people behind you can choose something off the menu to throw at you.
3. Do NOT walk down the middle of a parking lot aisle. I will run you over.
5. NO CELL PHONES AT CONCERTS. I did not pay to watch someone perform on your phone. I paid to watch them perform in front of my actual eyeballs. Put ‘em down.
6. People are not allowed to pay in stores with checks.
And now, the benefits:
1. There will be an IV drip system in every home for hangovers.
2. When your car gets damaged, it cannot cost over $100 to fix.
3. If you’ve been drinking, cabs are free.
4. Every mirror looks like the mirrors in Banana Republic. (If you’ve ever been there, you know EXACTLY what we’re talking about.)
5. Mashed potatoes and chocolate are health foods.
6. Pants are optional
And now, for your viewing pleasure, some mashed potato gifs.